It’s good to vent sometimes. It’s good to say I’m fucking lonely because that’s what I am. 

Fucking lonely. 

So to all of you fellow tumblrs out there reading this, thanks for bearing with me on a beautiful Sunday evening when things should feel brighter than they are. 

I know she won’t see this. So she won’t know that when she brought her new friend to the party it broke my goddamn heart. 

But I think she’s smart enough to take a hint. And if you are reading. I miss talking to you. I wish you’d just IM me like you used to but things aren’t like they used to be, are they. 

Nothing is. And that’s how things go. But I’ll be gone in a few months. You’ll be slowly erased from my memory bank and collected into a pool of one of the many who let me down or left me crying for weeks. And unintentionally of course it’s not your fault how you feel or how uncomfortable I made or still make you feel.

But I can’t help that either. But regardless, I will try to forget quickly because I’ve tried hard enough to make you realize it meant more (to me at least) than you think it did.  

I’ve just never met anyone so beautiful in my entire goddamn life and it’s hard to react sometimes. 

I really need to reevaluate the priorities in my life, I suppose. I need to realize there is more than just college life and pretty soon I’m going to find out what that is.

But that’s pretty terrifying in itself. 

I hope I can survive NYC. I hope I can do something with myself besides hide under my covers and look at shit on the internet, make to do lists and cry. Because I want to be a happier person. I want to be happy again. 

I want to appreciate the little things. I think I can try to do that much.